The Power of Belief & How Confidence Creates or Destroys Cultures
The Best Leaders Model Belief and Confidence
A good friend forwarded me an article on the power of positive self-talk from a new author.
My friend knows I’ve been thinking about the power of belief and self-confidence as a “thing”.
One of my earliest memories, I want to say as early as when I was 8 years old, is my conviction that believing in myself mattered more than anything else or what anyone else said about my abilities.
So many people want to tell you what you CAN or more importantly CAN’T DO something. Maybe I’m stubborn or not a great listener but my brain is wired to only listen to what I believe.
I’m sure, like you, this conjures up the several books on this subject that boil down to the phrase “If you believe you can’t do something, you’re almost always right”.
And if you believe you can, even when you’re not sure, you give yourself a chance that most people never take.
Confidence Isn’t the Foundation. Belief Is.
For years, I personally thought just having more confidence was all you needed.
I’ve now learned confidence enough is not the root or foundation of success.
Belief lies much deeper.
Confidence is simply what belief feels like after it takes hold.
Belief is the quiet, internal voice inside your head that says:
“I don’t know how I’m going to do this, but I believe I can and I will do this.”
Self-belief comes before any evidence of success. Results usually come slowly with many more failures (9 out of 10?) before the 1 out of 10 glimpses of success that build upon the foundations of your belief.
As you continue to believe and grind, your success rate is usually only 3 out of 10 and then 5 out of 10. It’s a grind but confidence then builds from these small wins and signs of success. Grinding builds confidence and confidence builds belief.
The problem is that most people give up or outright quit since the opposite of self-belief is much more poisonous to the mind.
Self-Talk Is a Symptom, Not the Disease
This is where I diverge slightly from the many conversations about positive self-talk.
For sure, positive self-talk matters. But negative self-talk is much more crippling.
However, I no longer believe this self-talk negativity is the root cause of our inability to succeed at anything.
I believe negative self-talk is simply a symptom of the more powerful non-belief. I also now believe that understanding all of this is the way out.
When you don’t believe you can do something, your body knows it before your mind or your words do.
Non-belief shows up as:
Physical tension
Restrictive movements
Fear responses
Elevated cortisol
Hesitation and avoidance
Flight vs fight
It’s clear to me the mind and the body are connected in ways we still don’t fully understand. For sure, our body’s physiological state created from the mind eventually turns into silent words inside your brain… what I call the roommate inside your head.
Your roommate in your head starts talking to you:
“I/You can’t do this.”
“I/You are not ready.”
“This isn’t for people like me.”
The words are real and powerful but if you truly are honest, these words came after days, weeks, and years of the much deeper non-belief.
Belief Changes Chemistry Before It Changes Outcomes
I’ve posted before that I’ve studied biology and neuroscience much of my life.
I believe (and modern day scientific evidence is starting to prove it) that “Belief” can literally change your body’s chemistry.
Belief changes your brain-body’s operating system.
When you believe:
Brain chemistry changes
Signals to your nervous system changes
Your muscles relax instead of tighten
Your attention widens instead of narrows
The proof of belief shows up in so many places:
In religion
In emergency moments where people lift cars off loved ones
In elite athletic performances
In recovery and healing
It’s not magic.
It’s your physical biology responding to your mind’s belief.
What Superstar Athletes All Say (In Different Words)
Study any elite performer long enough and the pattern repeats.
“I believed in myself when nobody else did.”
— Stephen Curry
Michael Jordan.
Serena Williams.
Roger Federer
Nearly every successful person.
They weren’t always confident but they’ll tell you they believed in themselves before anyone else did. They believed they could achieve the next level of performance when most others were telling them they peaked and wouldn’t make it any higher.
My dad knew Jack Nicklaus. Went to high school with him. Played on the same basketball team. Jack was famous for saying that he would physically stand over his golf shots and visualize them in his mind. The swing, the flight of the ball, landing on the green and going in the hole. He wouldn’t swing until that vision was complete and he believed it. Interestingly, Jason Day (a modern day golfer) uses the same technique. Both Jack and Jason understand that once your mind believes something your body will perform… they also fully understand the vice-versa.
Here’s The Data
This is from the article my friend sent me, from authors Ryan Berman, Suzy Burke, and Rhett Power, and their new book Headmentals.
According to research cited by the National Science Foundation:
The average person has ~60,000 thoughts per day
Up to 80% are negative
Nearly 90% are repetitive
That’s ~48,000 negative thoughts a day - most of them recycled.
Yes, this is a mindset problem but more importantly it’s your personal operating system’s problem.
As the authors outline in Headamentals, the goal is NOT to eliminate the voice.
You can’t.
The “monster” - your roommate - never moves out.
But you can:
Understand it
Decode it
Retrain how much authority it has
That monster isn’t evil.
It’s trying to protect you from risk. But your roommate is doing a very poor job of saving you.
The authors also had me when they created their own “3 Cs” on how to deal with your inner roommate:
Catch (the negativity)
Confront it
Change the words, the destructive mental dialogues - start saying the opposite!
Why Leaders Must Model Belief If They Want to Scale
Here’s the part that I know and have witnessed in both directions (positive and negative)
Self-talk as a leader becomes team-talk
Team-talk becomes culture
Culture becomes performance
Culture doesn’t just show up one day. It begins and manifests with a powerful and passionate belief by a leader. Using their voice and their actions.
I know I shudder at religious or cult leaders who understand this… but there is the proof, front and center, at the true power of “belief”. Use it to your advantage as a leader.
If you lead people at work or at home, it’s on you to:
Create more positive talk
Encourage belief before certainty
Model belief and the little red engine that could, “I Think I Can”
Most performance issues are not skill gaps.
They’re belief constraints.
Skills only come after repeated successful performance.
Successful performance can only come after several attempts to succeed but failing and learning and improving.
Bottom Line
Modern science still doesn’t fully understand the mind.
But I’m convinced of this:
Belief is one of the most powerful forces we have access to
Belief creates confidence
Confidence alters physiology
Physiology unlocks performance
Positive self-talk helps reinforce belief
Everything starts inside your head, dealing with your inner roommate. Don’t listen. Shout him/her down and simply believe.
